In many professions now, so-called “quality measurement” is the dominant language, reducing, quantifying, and eventually, side-lining the importance of human interaction. This can not be good for us as living, breathing, multi-dimensional beings.
Dave: I have a long interest in patterns of illness in families. Much of my clinical work is involved in
Here are my reflections on a rather subtle, yet insidious family pattern characterized by invisible (unconscious) demands for false togetherness, the demand that all family members pretend to think the same. This enforced “togetherness” has a formidable, unyielding tone, suggesting it is not to be questioned.
Here is a second session from the family with “enforced togetherness” where one member is what I call “insane”; locked inside sanity, locked in unbending, pathological sanity.
Enforced “togetherness” in families, though largely unconscious, emerges in the way a family tells its story. It is not a unity which augments family spirit, it restricts. The restriction serves a purpose for some. The need for protection is motivated by a history of trauma or too much despair. But often a family member, usually a child, may be sacrificed to maintain this appearance of group unity.
Here’s a first session with a “misbehaving” boy that reflects the corrosive effect of “enforced unity” in families
Dave: In an earlier post, Defiance in the Family: A Rebellion in the Name of Health, I described our idea
Dave: The birth of the baby represents a quantum jump in intimacy and the complexity of living. There is a
Defiant kids, angry kids, crazy kids, are a byproduct of family interactions, and simultaneously a byproduct of the family’s interaction with the culture.
In a New York Times Op-Ed entitled “Diagnosis: Human”, written a few years ago but still pertinent, author Ted Gup