We’d like to redeem the phrase “co-dependent” from its notorious reputation. “Co-dependence”, referring to the couple’s emotional connection, suggests what we already intuitively know. Our well-being, our ill-being, our growth, and our life experience are determined at least in part by our relationship to our intimate partners. It is only when co-dependence is distorted that it becomes a problem.
In life feelings can be painful, even excruciatingly so. It’s really all a part of being human. But what happens if we don’t even let ourselves know what we feel? That’s where, sometimes, our bodies take over and try to help. Here’s one woman’s story, and what she discovered.
All of us carry emotional wounds which are invisible. These wounds are often passed down through the generations by our parents, who carry their own invisible wounds and scars. We don’t call this illness. We call it the human condition.
Check out this funny and wise story by writer Amy Sutherland. She captures what we couples therapists might call “co-creation”. See what happened when she applied what she learned about exotic animal training to her own personal exotic animal, her husband. She says that. after two years, “my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love”.
A child’s persistent temper tantrums can be a painful state of affairs for parents. But these little kids, lacking language to talk about their feelings, are often trying to communicate something important to their folks. Here’s a family who came to therapy to get to the bottom of it. We all learned something we didn’t expect.
It is virtually routine to give kids medications for ADHD. There is an industry organized around ADHD, well orchestrated, with abundant research to create the illusion of scientific certainty. But what happens when you look at the child’s behavior in the context of the family? What happens when parents, rather than being bystanders, are integral to the child’s treatment? What if the family becomes the patient? Check out this feel-good story.
When this couple first came to therapy the husband was certain that he was being victimized by his wife and her anger. As it turns out, he couldn’t have been more wrong.
When kids show signs of emotional or behavioral troubles they may be sent to a mental health professional who suggests that a “chemical imbalance” is the problem. Here’s what can happen when the family, not just the child, becomes the patient. The side-effects are good.
It’s part of the human condition that we may be unhappy, unfulfilled, or overly stressed without even realizing it. That kind of unconscious distress can spill over to the marriage. Without realizing it, we may look to a relationship to fix what’s wrong with our life. That’s a recipe for disaster. Here’s the case of a couple where the wife was so unhappy she had begun contemplating divorce. Then she made an unexpected discovery.
Amy: One of the most profound transformations for a couple occurs with the birth of the first child, that magic transition from a