Check out this funny and wise story by writer Amy Sutherland. She captures what we couples therapists might call “co-creation”. See what happened when she applied what she learned about exotic animal training to her own personal exotic animal, her husband. She says that. after two years, “my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love”.
When this couple first came to therapy the husband was certain that he was being victimized by his wife and her anger. As it turns out, he couldn’t have been more wrong.
All marriages have divorce built into them. Often, though, we end up re-marrying the same person. This is a powerful–and painful –process necessary for growth, both as a couple and as individuals. In this post, Dave talks about some of the dynamics in marriage that help us understand this universal phase in the life of a couple.
Depression is not a straightforward problem; it typically doesn’t yield to straightforward solutions. Here Dave consults on a case of an elderly depressed woman. His seemingly crazy intervention brings surprising results. Enjoy.
Women who feel depressed often see this as a purely personal struggle, believing they have a “chemical imbalance”. They may feel burdened and alone, and responsible and/or guilty for their depression.
In fact, depression is rarely a simple personal affair. Most often, the roots of depression can be found in that person’s intimate relationship sphere, where important parts of our happiness/unhappiness live. Here’s one woman’s story of how she moved from depression to owning her own power.
There’s a lot of attention focused now on sexual transgressions as a part of the power imbalances between men and
As a culture we are talking a lot lately about the many subtle and not-so-subtle ways men have of sabotaging female power. Here Dave reflects on what this says about the power dynamics between the sexes. Hint: Perhaps it has something to do with (unconscious) male fear of female superiority?
Sexual problems in a relationship, including erectile dysfunction, typically reflect a more subtle dysfunction in the underlying dynamic of the couple. Helping the guy to become less cautious with his wife can be a powerful libido-stimulator
Amy: Part of my attraction to the video “What Nice Men Don’t Say to Nice Women” (see post from 9/5)
Dave and Raluca Jacono (Raluca is a wonderful therapist/ friend of DK): We both responded similarly to the Nice Man video. ( See