We’d like to redeem the phrase “co-dependent” from its notorious reputation. “Co-dependence”, referring to the couple’s emotional connection, suggests what we already intuitively know. Our well-being, our ill-being, our growth, and our life experience are determined at least in part by our relationship to our intimate partners. It is only when co-dependence is distorted that it becomes a problem.
Check out this funny and wise story by writer Amy Sutherland. She captures what we couples therapists might call “co-creation”. See what happened when she applied what she learned about exotic animal training to her own personal exotic animal, her husband. She says that. after two years, “my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love”.
It’s part of the human condition that we may be unhappy, unfulfilled, or overly stressed without even realizing it. That kind of unconscious distress can spill over to the marriage. Without realizing it, we may look to a relationship to fix what’s wrong with our life. That’s a recipe for disaster. Here’s the case of a couple where the wife was so unhappy she had begun contemplating divorce. Then she made an unexpected discovery.
Amy: One of the most profound transformations for a couple occurs with the birth of the first child, that magic transition from a
The ability and willingness to trust in one’s parter seems to be a precondition for a healthy and stable connection. But lack of trust can be made of many things. You often have to look beneath the surface to uncover what’s behind this potentially corrosive force. It often began before the couple even met.
Many couples suffer from ongoing low-level conflict that’s like a low-grade fever. They never feel well, and never get better. Learning to fight can help break the fever and return the couple to health.
While it’s always tricky to try to understand how someone becomes an alcoholic, stories from patients “in recovery” reveal some patterns. In this post, we get a glimpse into a couple’s therapy, where we learn what “pre-alcoholism” looks like. It can tell us a lot about some of the ingredients that go into making an alcoholic.
Fighting is part of both healthy and unhealthy relationships. But unhealthy fighting looks different Here are two types of couples with unhealthy fighting patterns: The Disconnect and The Immovable Object.