A Therapeutic Space for Individuals, Couples, and Families
In many professions now, so-called “quality measurement” is the dominant language, reducing, quantifying, and eventually, side-lining the importance of human interaction. This can not be good for us as living, breathing, multi-dimensional beings.
Dave: I have a long interest in patterns of illness in families. Much of my clinical work is involved in
Jazz Musicians As Psychotherapists: Music can healing force. Here jazz musicians are invited to “consult” to family therapy sessions. The results have been amazing.
Here are my reflections on a rather subtle, yet insidious family pattern characterized by invisible (unconscious) demands for false togetherness, the demand that all family members pretend to think the same. This enforced “togetherness” has a formidable, unyielding tone, suggesting it is not to be questioned.
Here is a second session from the family with “enforced togetherness” where one member is what I call “insane”; locked inside sanity, locked in unbending, pathological sanity.
Enforced “togetherness” in families, though largely unconscious, emerges in the way a family tells its story. It is not a unity which augments family spirit, it restricts. The restriction serves a purpose for some. The need for protection is motivated by a history of trauma or too much despair. But often a family member, usually a child, may be sacrificed to maintain this appearance of group unity.
Here’s a first session with a “misbehaving” boy that reflects the corrosive effect of “enforced unity” in families
ADHD in Kids: Our family therapy view of behavior problems in kids looks at some of the hidden pattern in parenting that can contribute to these problems. Good to know. Then change is possible.
Dave: In an earlier post, Defiance in the Family: A Rebellion in the Name of Health, I described our idea
Dave: The birth of the baby represents a quantum jump in intimacy and the complexity of living. There is a