A Therapeutic Space for Individuals, Couples, and Families
Here are my reflections on a rather subtle, yet insidious family pattern characterized by invisible (unconscious) demands for false togetherness, the demand that all family members pretend to think the same. This enforced “togetherness” has a formidable, unyielding tone, suggesting it is not to be questioned.
Here is a second session from the family with “enforced togetherness” where one member is what I call “insane”; locked inside sanity, locked in unbending, pathological sanity.
Enforced “togetherness” in families, though largely unconscious, emerges in the way a family tells its story. It is not a unity which augments family spirit, it restricts. The restriction serves a purpose for some. The need for protection is motivated by a history of trauma or too much despair. But often a family member, usually a child, may be sacrificed to maintain this appearance of group unity.
Here’s a first session with a “misbehaving” boy that reflects the corrosive effect of “enforced unity” in families
Amy: Here’s another thoughtful vignette from Alain de Botton’s “The School of Life.” While overly simplistic at times, Botton peers
Please enjoy this drawing by Relationship Rhythms friend, Anca Tiurean. Anca is a talented Romanian psychotherapist and socio-cultural animator. We
Amy: Part of my attraction to the video “What Nice Men Don’t Say to Nice Women” (see post from 9/5)
Dave and Raluca Jacono (Raluca is a wonderful therapist/ friend of DK): We both responded similarly to the Nice Man video. ( See
Amy: Here’s a rather provocative post from Alain de Botton’s “School of Life”. We were a bit ambivalent about posting
ADHD in Kids: Our family therapy view of behavior problems in kids looks at some of the hidden pattern in parenting that can contribute to these problems. Good to know. Then change is possible.